"If the gagged partner starts squeaking the toy, it means they're using their safe action." Loud jangling keys also work. This practice is known as a "safe action"-similar to a "safe word," according to the sex website Kinkly: "A 'safe action' is an action that means that you need to check in with your partner and that all activity needs to stop," the site explains.Īnother possible safe action is using a noisy item: "For example, you could use a squeaky toy," Kinky explains.
A ball gag series#
If the gag is intricate and difficult to take off, you and your partner can agree beforehand on a nonverbal "please get this off me ASAP" signal, like a series of taps on the back. If the submissive partner isn’t tied up, and has access to their hands, they can take off the gag themselves if they feel like it's too much. However, many wearers actually enjoy the sensation of not being able to breathe this way.) (That said, there are ball gags out there that allow the wearer to continue breathing through their mouth-see the products below. "This is also why you shouldn't use a ball gag if you have a cold, allergies, or a sinus infection," explains Cory B., kink coach and sex educator. If their nose gets blocked, too, they may not be able to get any air in. Safety is important when using a ball gag, because most ball gags prevent the wearer from breathing through their mouth. “Some people find that kind of depersonalization appealing in BDSM play because it helps to take them out of their head and lets them be more in the moment.” How do you use a ball gag safely? “And yet another factor some may find appealing is that, by not being able to talk, it sort of transforms you from a person to an object,” Lehmiller says. $15 at Amazon Credit: Amazon/Men's Health (We'll get to safety actions in a moment!) However, before you bring a ball gag into the mix, it's necessary to pre-negotiate consent and what, exactly, you plan to do with your partner, since you're unable to verbally yell "stop" during the act. If you like to feel in control, then putting the gag on your partner could be a huge turn-on. If you’re someone who likes being more submissive during sex, it can be arousing to be gagged. There’s a huge power differential when one person can speak, and the other simply has to listen, unable to respond verbally. “On another level, they create a dominant-submissive dynamic, regardless of any other props used or activities that might take place." “On one level, they may be popular as a form of bondage for those who simply enjoy the sensation of physical restraint,” says Lehmiller. Justin Lehmiller, research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want.
There are many reasons ball gags appeal for certain people, explains Dr.
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